Chocolate Cherry Ice Cream and True Love

I glimpsed something beautiful last month.  My elderly neighbor was taken to the hospital in an ambulance after he collapsed at home.  He has endured many serious health challenges over the past year, and his wife has spent many hours sitting with him in hospitals and doctors’ offices.  I visited them in the hospital for a little while and watched as they held hands and talked quietly about what had happened, what might be the cause, and other details.  He did not look anything like a handsome prince as he wheezed in that hospital bed, and I suppose she would not win any traditional beauty contests at this point, but their mutual trust, respect, and tender concern for each other was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.  When health and beauty are gone, when fancy dates and fun vacations are just memories, then we can see past shallow appearances into the foundation of true love.  The lovingkindness of my neighbors is a reflection of God’s love:  “Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love:  therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee” (Jeremiah 31:3).
         
This experience with my neighbors brings to mind a memory of my grandparents from years ago.  With so many failed marriages in our world, the idea of getting married seemed like a scary thing to me when I was in college.  How could someone be patient enough with my many failings to make a marriage work?  How could I get along with my husband when I am naturally stubborn and impatient?  Was it really possible for two imperfect people to build a marriage that was actually happy? 
         
They did not know it, but my grandparents soothed many of my concerns about marriage when they dropped by my college apartment one day and took me out to dinner.  They spent a good portion of the meal engaged in a passionate debate over whether they should have included the cherry juice or just the cherries in their last batch of homemade chocolate cherry ice cream.  As they expressed their differing and sometimes heated opinions on this important issue, I could see past their words to the bond they had developed during their decades of marriage.  I had seen them when they were tired and irritable as well as when they were merry and bright.  I knew they had found joy but also sorrow in their children.  Some things in their lives turned out well, but they also experienced great disappointments.  Grandma spent many years taking the children to church by herself while Grandpa chose to stay home, and then she brought them by herself for many more years when Grandpa came back to church, was quickly called to be a bishop, and had to go early for meetings and sit on the stand.  Their experiences while serving a mission together in Africa exposed their differing preferences and abilities.  When they came home the joke was that Grandpa would have returned to Africa in a minute, while Grandma would have returned for a minute.  Their road included many rough patches, but they chose to stick together through them all.  They had a bond of shared experiences and a deep love that was incredibly beautiful.  Their love had been refined through years of longsuffering together, which is another characteristic of God’s love:  “But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth” (Psalms 86:15).   I watched them and realized that I really, really wanted what they had, even if the road to get to that point was rough at times.   
         
How thankful I am for the example of my grandparents with their chocolate cherry ice cream and their longsuffering love for each other through all the ups and downs of life.  What a sacred experience to see the quiet lovingkindness of my neighbors in a hospital room and be reminded that the most beautiful love can develop after outward beauty fades.  As I continue to work with my husband to build a strong and lasting marriage, I am encouraged by the shining examples of these silver-haired couples.  Their love is a glimpse of heaven, and it is the most beautiful sight I can imagine.