An Old House and A Young Garden

Do you ever feel discouraged about your progress in becoming like Jesus Christ?  I certainly do, especially near the end of a long summer with four intense children at home all day.  As we get to know Jesus better, we see more clearly the gaps between His character and capabilities and our own.  Paul indicated the way to gain patience with our progress when he taught, “We through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness” (Galatians 5:5).  Last month when I was feeling discouraged, the Lord through his Holy Spirit offered encouragement by reminding me of two things. 

 

First, I was reminded of the delight I feel to see a tired old house restored so its unique character can be appreciated again.  We are all like broken down houses.  We came to Earth all shiny and new with commendable characteristics and valuable gifts to share.  Then we were stained by sin, worn out by the storms of life, and broken in places by the imperfect people around us.  Our Savior Jesus Christ paid an immense price during His Atonement to gain the power to restore us, and He earnestly seeks to use that power.  Despite the heavy cost, He delights in the process of restoring us to our former glory.

The second encouraging thought that came to mind was my young garden.  I do not grow a lot of food; instead my garden is mostly ornamental.  It has been two years since we undertook a large landscaping project in the backyard, and there are some pretty spots but still a lot of bare ground.  I love to sit outside and imagine how the garden will look in five or ten years when the trees and other plants are more mature.  Even though there will be a lot of work between now and then, I look forward to the process of nurturing its growth.  We are all like young gardens.  The patches of goodness and beauty here and there in our current selves are just a small part of our infinite potential.  Our Savior never loses sight of that potential and finds much more joy from nurturing our growth than I receive from my nurturing my garden.  His Atonement provides plenty of grace to continue to support us throughout the long process of maturation. 

An old house and a young garden echo the changes that come to our hearts as Christ uses His Atonement to help us become one with Him and our Heavenly Father (John 17:21).  Jesus fixes the damage from our sins, the sins of others, and the perils of mortality; then He fills us with more and more of His attributes and strength.  He makes us whole again like an old house restored, and He makes us holy like a garden filled with growing beauty, light and life.  Our Savior delights in the completed goal ahead but also in the ongoing process.  If He sees goodness and finds joy in us now despite our sagging stairs, broken windows, barren patches and weedy corners, then we can feel optimistic about our progress, slow though it seems.  He can show us how to find joy in the journey because He finds joy in the journey.  With the encouragement of the Holy Spirit and steady streams of Christ’s grace, we can attend to the healing and growth of today with a bright hope in the righteousness to come.   

Temple Power in This Life

One of the blessings for the Lord’s servants who worship Him in His temple is to “go forth from this house armed with thy power” (D&C 109:22).  While reading this verse several years ago, I realized I could not point to that power in my life.  Although I had attended the temple regularly for years, and although I had hope in an eternal family and other temple blessings in the next life, I felt a need to discover what the power of the temple meant or could mean for me in this life.
         
After studying, pondering, and praying about this for a few years, I am beginning to see temple power in my life.  In fact, spiritual sight, or discernment, is one of the powerful blessings to come through faithful temple attendance.  Discernment is “to understand or know something through the power of the Spirit” (lds.org, The Guide to the Scriptures), and the temple endowment is like an upgraded gift of the Spirit.  In the temple our vision of the spiritual gifts available to us—including discernment—is expanded, and we are taught more about the principles we must live to invite those gifts into our lives now and in eternity.  All of this comes through Jesus Christ.  Just as Jesus does “not judge after the sight of his eyes . . . but with righteousness shall he judge” (Isaiah 11:3), so He can empower us to start to see in His way, which He said is “higher than your ways” (Isaiah 55:9). 
         
The gift of discernment comes as the mighty, or powerful, or full-of-power change of heart (Alma 5:12) progresses in us, and the Lord’s power flows through the Holy Spirit in the temple to help that change along.  It seems like I check out a pair of spiritual glasses when I attend the temple, and those glasses enable me to look at life and people differently.  When I attend the temple regularly, I am able to look on others—especially my family members—and myself with more hope and compassion and less condemnation.  I am able to see the Lord’s hand at work when I might otherwise fail to notice.  I recognize more clearly the consequences of living or not living the principles that Jesus taught.  These glasses have become more powerful over years of temple attendance.
         
For example, as I have studied and shared the stories of my ancestors, my temple glasses have enabled me to discern more about them.  I know through the confirmation of the Spirit in my mind and heart (D&C 8:2) that many of my ancestors are aware of and love me and my family.  This feeling was especially strong one day when I was scanning photos of my paternal grandmother’s parents and uploading them to Family Search.  As I sat in front of the computer and looked at their eyes, I was surrounded with a powerful feeling of love from my great-grandfather Nephi and my great-grandmother Emma, both of whom died before I could get to know them.  From my research I knew already that they loved their children and grandchildren, and that day I learned through the Spirit that their love extended to their great-grandchildren, including me, and to my children as well.  I was reminded that both of them experienced chronic health problems in their lives, and I felt they empathized with the health challenges I experience now.  I could see how they still looked on my grandma as their little girl, even though she is now old and widowed, and I felt they were pleased with my family’s efforts to cheer and honor her in this lonely time of her life. 
   

Emma and Nephi Swenson

       
In the scriptures we are taught that “the faithful . . . continue their labors” (D&C 138:57) in the next life.  Of course that includes missionary work for faithful elders.  When we consider that President Harold B. Lee taught “the most important of the Lord’s work that you will ever do will be the work you do within the walls of your own home” (Strengthening the Home, pamphlet, 1973, p. 7), then we see that the important labor of strengthening family must continue even after death.  Could we really believe that the loving grandmothers who come help at the birth of grandbabies, kiss boo-boos and attend the piano recitals of grandchildren, and who remember the birthdays of dozens of loved ones would just stop this labor of love at death?  President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs” (Gen. Conf. Dec. 1974).  We see even greater truth in his statement when we discern that God often answers our prayers for comfort, guidance and encouragement through our good family members who know and love us but have already passed on to the spirit world.  Of course we do not often see these loved ones, but we may feel their words in our hearts since “angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost” (2 Nephi 32:3).   
         
The power of temple glasses has also helped me be more filled with gratitude by the lives of my ancestors.  As I look at the hundreds of names on a nine generation genealogy fan chart hanging in our home, I am overwhelmed with the realization that every one of the women on that chart had to endure pregnancy and childbirth before my husband and I could have the opportunity to be born.  Many of the men sacrificed physical or mental health as they fought to protect their families and country.  Both women and men endured miserable voyages across the ocean in the 1600’s, 1700’s and 1800’s when they came to America to build better lives for themselves and their families—which include me.  Many of our pioneer ancestors left familiar comforts, sacrificed their own health and even buried children as they journeyed across the plains to answer God’s call and gather with members of their church.  Every opportunity and blessing in my life has come through their work and sacrifice.  My little family today is the fruit of their labors, and I feel them encouraging me to continue to rejoice in and build on the strong foundation they have given us. 
         
The power of discernment flowing through the Lord’s temple has enabled me to better know and love my ancestors and to feel their concern and love for me.  This is a fulfillment of the Lord’s promise to “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6).  Through these experiences and others, I can now say with confidence that I see the power of the temple in my life.  The truths I discern with my temple glasses bring strength and joy, and I look forward to continuing to learn more of the Lord and His higher ways through the power of the temple.

An Unbroken Heart

As I study and gain experience with true conversion or the mighty change of heart (Alma 5:12-13, Ezekiel 11:19), I see that there is an aspect of healing and an aspect of endowment involved. It is about healing that I write today. We often talk about the broken heart that Christ requires (3 Nephi 9:20, Psalms 34:18) as being an obedient heart, like a horse that is broken and therefore obedient to the direction of his master. This is true, and yet it is also true that all our hearts have been in fact broken, damaged and darkened by our sins, by the sins of others, and by the trials that are part of a fallen world. Will we harden our hearts to numb the pain, even though that causes us to become past feeling like Laman and Lemuel (1 Nephi 17:45, Ephesians 4:18-19)? One with a stony heart may ignore the chronic ache of injury, but those who harden their hearts cannot feel the gentle peace and joy that come through the still, small voice of God (1 Kings 19:12). He promises that “after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them” (D&C 112:13). Our hearts will not be healed until we entrust them to our Savior.   
         
The temple experience reminds us of this initial process of healing. As Wendy Ulrich has noted*, our wounds need the same care that the Good Samaritan gave to the man injured by thieves and left by the side of the road: to be washed, anointed with healing balm and dressed with a protective covering (Luke 10:30-34). Just as the Samaritan in the parable paid for the man’s care while he convalesced (Luke 10:35), the Savior has paid the price for our healing: “he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). Healing a wound is an uncomfortable process, especially when infection has taken hold. To some extent our injured hearts have all been infected by selfishness, pride, and perhaps bitterness. It takes great trust to keep our hearts upon the surgery table while Christ scrubs out the taint of the natural man (Mosiah 3:19, 1 Corinthians 2:14). We will probably find this scrubbing to be a repeated process throughout our lives. But we have the assurance that Christ will be meticulous and thorough in His work. The care with which He directs temple buildings to be constructed reflects the care with which He handles our hearts, for we ourselves are temples of God (1 Corinthians 3:16). Just as graffiti is sanded out instead of just painted over on temple walls, Christ will not content Himself with glossing over our scars but will restore tissue and spirit to their perfect state. Just as each temple window and tile is required to be set perfectly straight, Christ will order our hearts to perfection. We will become unbroken, whole and undivided with complete integrity.
         
As I turn my heart each day to Jesus Christ and experience the healing that comes from Him, in some ways the process is so gradual that it is only by looking back that I see how much healthier my heart feels than it did years or decades ago. At other times I find that a small piece of inspiration can almost instantly remove a heartache that had been tender for a long time. I experienced this type of healing one day a few years ago. A couple of years previous to that time, I had begun experiencing health problems that were debilitating and confusing. As my condition worsened over the months and doctor after doctor had no help to give, I found it difficult to sleep because of my illness. I spent many nights in great pain, being buffeted by fear and silently crying and praying for help. Although I had often experienced the comfort of the Spirit previously in my life, during those long nights I felt very alone. After a number of months that health problem began to recede, but I felt a little betrayed by the loneliness I had felt. Why had I not been able to feel comfort from the Lord in those dark hours when I needed it most? What had I done wrong so that my prayers were not answered? Why had God allowed this trial when it seemed to make a mess of what I thought was the plan for my life? I persisted onward with my faith in Christ, but there was a part of my heart that still ached.  
         
As I continued to pray, study the scriptures and ponder, I learned that loneliness is sometimes just part of our trials. As Jesus neared the end of His suffering on the cross, He cried out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). Heavenly Father had not abandoned Jesus, but Jesus needed to experience the loneliness we sometimes feel so He could comfort and heal us. If I am trying to become more like Jesus – if I want to gain compassion and skill to comfort others, which I do – then I should not be surprised if there are times when God does not immediately relieve my loneliness. This lesson helped to ease but not completely erase my heartache.
         
A year after those darkest nights, I was driving home from an errand when I remembered a vivid dream where I had experienced Christ’s love in a powerful way. Without words, the Spirit helped me realize that the dream had come right before my illness began. In a matter of seconds, as I turned the car from one street onto another, I suddenly knew that the dream was God’s way of giving me a hug and encouragement at the start of a wrenching but necessary trial. The feeling that my life had taken a wrong turn was erased. The sore spot in my heart disappeared. Through the Spirit, I felt known, loved and healed by my Savior.
         
I still struggle with plenty of weaknesses, faults and selfishness, but through the quiet whisperings of the Spirit and the experiences I have had, I have confidence that Jesus will finish His work on my heart. The healing part of the mighty change of heart is slow but it is real. This blessing is offered to all people, “black and white, bond and free, male and female . . . Jew and Gentile” for “all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33). Though the process will continue into the next life, I have firm hope that through Christ’s grace my heart will eventually become seamlessly healed, perfectly strong and completely unbroken.


*Ulrich, Wendy. The Temple Experience: Passage to Healing and Holiness. Springville, UT: CFI, 2012, 55.

We All Belong to God's Family

As Christ works a mighty change of heart in us, we start to view everything and everyone differently. I am finding that when I can see people more as God sees them, it feels natural to treat them as God would have me treat them. As of now my ability to see in this way is not constant, but I have hope that it will become more consistent as I continue to invite Christ to remodel my heart and enlighten my eyes a little each day. 
         
One thing I see with clarity is that our Heavenly Father always sees us as His family. His relationship to us as our Father transcends the relationship of an employer to an employee or a king to his subjects. We may talk about being children of God and call each other brother or sister, but I do not think we fully comprehend that truth, and we often forget what we do understand of it. Or at least I do. But our Heavenly Father and our big brother Jesus Christ never forget those family bonds. In the scriptures They repeatedly remind us of our relationship with Them and with each other. Jesus taught, “all ye are brethren . . . for one is your Father, which is in heaven” (Matthew 23:8-9). Paul reminded us of Jesus’ relationship to us when he stated, “for both he that sanctifieth and they who are sanctified are all of one, for which cause he is not ashamed to call them brethren” (Hebrews 2:11). 
         
As we come closer to God our awareness of our divine family relationships will flavor all of our interactions with others. God taught the Israelites that they should not harden their hearts against any of their poor brethren within the land, and to withhold what those brethren needed was a sin (Deuteronomy 15:7-11). He commanded that their king should study God’s word each day of his life so his heart “be not lifted up above his brethren” (Deuteronomy 17:18-20). The Lord gave a similar commandment to the Nephites, saying, “Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you” (Jacob 2:17). The Lord chose to describe the work of His church in family terms when He commanded Peter, “when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren” (Luke 22:32). 
         
It is difficult to think of our brethren and sisters ‘like unto ourselves’ when there are obvious differences between us. Some are undeniably more or less intelligent, righteous, or blessed than we are. My experiences as a mother help me understand this commandment. In the past few months my 11 year old son has been allowing his 2 year old brother to come into his room so they can play with Legos together. My older son is obviously more capable than my younger son, and his creations are much more impressive. But I do not love my older son more because his current capacity is greater. I know that my 2 year old will eventually be 11 years old and will create complex Lego spaceships and forts of his own. I also trust that eventually both of them will become adults with the ability to create things of far more significance than arrangements of plastic blocks. I just feel delighted that they are playing nicely and growing together in love. I expect my older son to help his younger brother along, and I expect my younger son to be grateful for the help. 
         
Our Heavenly Father already loves us completely and already sees our infinite potential through Christ’s merits, mercy and grace (2 Nephi 2:8). He knows that eternity will provide plenty of time for all of His children to reach that potential as long as we choose to do the work of growing in light and truth (Proverbs 4:18, D&C 50:24). He assigns those who are farther along to help their brethren and sisters who are coming behind, and He expects us all to be grateful for the help we receive from Him and from each other. Because of my experiences as a parent, I understand that God delights when we play nicely and grow together in love, and He weeps over His children who hate each other instead (Moses 7:28-33). 
         
Understanding and acting on our relationships as brothers and sisters in God’s family is crucial to our progress in the gospel. John taught that he who hates his brother is in darkness, while he who loves his brother abideth in the light (1 John 2:8-9). He further stated that a man who says he loves God but hates his brother is a liar (1 John 4:20). To know God and Jesus Christ is life eternal (John 17:3), and we are promised that those who abound in divine traits, including brotherly kindness, will be fruitful in the knowledge of Christ (2 Peter 1:7-8). I find these scriptures fulfilled in my experiences, for life does seem dark when I am feeling enmity toward another person. When I remember to pray for help to love God and others (those 2 great commandments in Matthew 22:36-40), there is light in my heart and I come to know Christ better.
         
Even as we respect positions of authority, obey the counsel of the Lord’s chosen leaders, and feel deep gratitude for the sacrifices that good leaders make to serve us; that respect, obedience and gratitude should be suffused with a feeling of brotherly love. I find a quiet joy in remembering that all the people I admire most are actually my sisters and brothers in God's family, and we loved each other before this life. As we lead, teach, and nurture those who are following behind us, we can esteem them like unto ourselves because we know that through the grace of Christ they can reach our current level of progress and continue on toward Christ’s perfection. An attitude of brotherly love overcomes feelings of intimidation by or condescension toward others. As children of God we all just need to commit to the work of growing in the light of the Son of God, and then Jesus promises He can get us all the way to the finish line.
         
We are all on the same team because we are all family. What a marvelous sense of love and belonging we feel when we remember that God claims each of us as His children and that we are surrounded by brothers and sisters. The delight I feel as a parent when my children love each other is a reflection of the delight our Heavenly Father feels when we treat His children with brotherly love. We should be cheering everyone toward the finish line – regardless of whether they make it there before or after us, at the beginning or at the very last – because heaven is going to be a more joyful place if more of the family makes it there together.

Change of Heart, Change of View

In recent months I have been pondering about how our vision is affected by the change of heart that Christ works in us as we make and keep covenants with Him (Ezekiel 36:26, Alma 5:14). We see the connection between a new heart and a new view in the story of Enoch and the city of Zion. As Enoch and his city grew in righteousness, they began to see what and Who they could not see before. God came to walk with Enoch (Genesis 5:24) and dwell with His people in Zion (Moses 7:16). These people received the change of heart that Ezekiel described as being given “one heart” (Ezekiel 11:19-20), for “the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them” (Moses 7:18). Eventually they were taken up to heaven “and the Lord said unto Enoch: Behold mine abode forever” (Moses 7:21). They experienced a profound change of view.
         
The story of Samson underscores how our vision is affected by breaking the covenants we have made with God. Despite his acceptance of the Nazarite covenant whereby Samson separated himself unto the Lord (Numbers 6:2), Samson was not true to God. He used his great strength in pursuit of his own vain ambitions (Judges 14-16) and arrogantly flirted with danger until he was finally brought down by his enemies. They put out his eyes shortly before his tragic death. His experience corresponds to the loss of spiritual sight that occurs when we reject God’s covenants.
         
These stories demonstrate in a dramatic way the increase or decrease in our capacity for Spirit-enhanced vision, or discernment, that comes based on our response to covenants with the Lord. We invite the Holy Spirit to be our constant companion through keeping our baptismal covenant to always remember Jesus, be willing to take upon us His name and keep His commandments (D&C 20:77, 79). Then the Spirit enables us to see everything and everyone around us more as God sees them, “for the Spirit . . . speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly” (Jacob 4:13). We also receive the heart-changing power of Christ’s Atonement through the Spirit (Mosiah 3:19). Even greater blessings pour out of the Atonement and flow into our lives through the Spirit as we make and keep covenants with the Lord in His temples.
         
As I invite Jesus Christ to change my heart by keeping the covenants I have made with Him, I am experiencing the change in perspective as well. I find it easier to be humble as the Lord shows me my weakness (Ether 12:27) and because I see with greater clarity that opportunities and talents are gifts from Him (James 1:17, Moroni 10:3, 18). I perceive that in the past my thinking has sometimes been influenced by ideas that are not true, like the idea that worldly prominence equates with importance. This error is especially damaging to mothers, since much of our work is accomplished without worldly fanfare and yet it has great importance in God’s plan for His children. I am coming to see how my labors as a mother encompass much more than fulfilling my children’s physical needs. I recognize that God has assigned me the responsibility to introduce them to and nurture their capacity to feel His love, upon which love the entire gospel rests (Matthew 22:36-40).
         
Some time ago I was reading in Doctrine & Covenants 93 where Christ promises that “every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am” (D&C 93:1). While recognizing that God answers such prayers in His own time and way (D&C 88:68), I decided to be bold in exercising my faith and pray to have that promise fulfilled in my life. As I continued to ponder about it over a period of weeks, the inspiration came that of greater worth than a vision of His physical features would be to see, know and comprehend Christ’s love. This ability to really understand charity – both Christ’s love for us and what our love must be for Him and for our neighbors – is the highest expression of spiritual sight, and it enables us to fulfill the two great commandments (Matthew 22:36-40). It leads us to view each person as having the greatest worth because of their status as children of God with infinite potential through Christ’s grace (Moroni 10:32, 2 Nephi 25:23), regardless of their current accomplishments or rank. Eventually this vision or knowledge of Christ’s character will lead us to God’s greatest blessings, for “this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou has sent” (John 17:3).
         
As I grow in the knowledge of Christ’s character, I have greater spiritual sight to perceive my children as the Lord sees them. I have one daughter who is especially feisty, which is difficult for me to manage because my personality is so much like hers. The Lord has helped me perceive that she has a great capacity to be sensitive and responsive to the Spirit, but along with that gift comes the tendency to be very sensitive and loudly responsive to the provocations of her older brother and other adverse circumstances. Being able to recognize the blessing as well as the challenge of this aspect of her character helps me to be more patient with her. I am a better mother to all my children as the Spirit helps me see and remember that how they act now does not always reflect who they really are and what they really can become. I also see that the “small and simple things” I accomplish as a mother really will bring great things to pass (Alma 37:6).
         
Isaiah prophesied about a marvelous work and wonder where the wisdom of the wise shall perish and the eyes of the blind shall see out of obscurity and darkness (Isaiah 29:14-18). The result of this work will be apparent when Christ returns and “all shall know me, who remain . . . and shall be filled with the knowledge of the Lord, and shall see eye to eye” (D&C 84:98). The prophet Mormon links spiritual sight with charity: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ . . . that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (Moroni 7:48). The gift of spiritual sight is essential to enable us to serve the Lord now – as mothers or in any other capacity – and prepares us for that great day when our eyes shall see Him with joy in our hearts because we have already come to know Him.

Walking On Water

Some time ago I experienced several years of health problems that were painful, confusing and scary. Before these trials I felt confident in my ability to valiantly live the gospel of Jesus Christ, but as they progressed I began to feel like I was drowning. As years went by, my thoughts turned repeatedly to the story of Peter walking through the predawn darkness on the sea of Galilee to reach Jesus (Matthew 14:22-33). During my youth I could not understand why Peter ever looked away when it was so simple to see that keeping his focus on Jesus would keep him from sinking. As an adult I realized that maintaining my focus on Jesus would protect me from sinking in my trials, but that simple goal was not easy to achieve when waves of pain and winds of fear were constantly threatening to swamp me. I spent a lot of time choking with my head barely above water, and I often wished I could get back into the boat where it was safe and comfortable. But gradually I began to recognize the important lessons the Lord was teaching me. 
         
The Lord's words illuminated my experience: "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27). I realized that the Lord was blessing my efforts to come to Him by exposing my physical, mental and spiritual weaknesses. If I humbled myself and continued to exercise faith in Him, eventually He would make me strong. My prayers changed from desperate pleas to rescue me immediately to humble requests for just enough grace to endure the day well. The pain and uncertainties remained, but with a sense of wonder I recognized the Lord's hand reaching into my heart and gently lifting me above the tempest.
          
We are not capable of walking on water nor coming to Christ without the buoyant strength of our Savior. In Ether 12:28 the Lord explains how we - like Peter - will finally reach Him. He says, "I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me." These characteristics of Christ are the stepping stones that bring us to Him, but only those with humility can reach them through the illuminating and uplifting power of the Atonement.
          
Just as dawn brought light to the breathless and dripping Peter, the darkness in my life eventually lifted as many health challenges abated. I can still see my weaknesses, but like Peter I have experienced the Savior's buoyant strength. He continues to show me how faith, hope and charity work a mighty change in my heart to bring me to Him. This quiet miracle seems no less wondrous to me than learning how to walk on water.