The Blessings of Sharing Goodness Through Social Media

This is the address I gave as part of the Brigham Young University Women's Conference on April 30, 2015.  Of course these ideas are my own and do not represent the official positions of BYU or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

 

In his address at the 2014 BYU Education Week, Elder David A. Bednar extended the challenge to “sweep the earth with messages filled with righteousness and truth”[i] using social media.  I don’t have a cool job with the Church, and my efforts to share goodness have not taken the internet by storm.  Instead I offer the experiences of a regular woman of faith who is mostly a mother but who also shares goodness over the internet in small and steady ways.  We know the Lord is happy to work in small and simple ways (Alma 37:6) as well as large and polished ones, so there is room for all our efforts.  I am a witness that big blessings come even when sharing goodness on a small scale.
          
Seven years ago my third child was born.  Being at home with my children was the right choice for my life, but my brain felt like it was turning into oatmeal.  I had a horticulture degree from BYU and a desire to be useful with those skills.  These words from President Gordon B. Hinckley were inspiring to me: 
          
“To you women of today, who are old or young, may I suggest that you write, that you keep journals, that you express your thoughts on paper.  Writing is a great discipline.  It is a tremendous education effort.  It will assist you in various ways, and you will bless the lives of many—now and in the years to come, as you put on paper some of your experiences and some of your musings.”[ii]
          
“Well,” I thought, “I could start a garden blog.”  So I set up ‘VW Garden’ for free using Blogger.  On this blog I post about landscaping projects, favorite plants, floral arrangements, and gardens I have designed as part of my calling at the Spokane Temple grounds.  Beautiful flowers help us feel God’s love for us, and they can sometimes soften hearts when other efforts fail.   Lovely gardens nourish our spirits by reminding us of our heavenly home.  Some of the most important events in the Plan of Salvation occurred in gardens[iii].  Principles of landscape design such as unity, asymmetrical balance, and the rule of three are reflections of eternal truths.  It is a happy thing to share about these useful and uplifting topics by blogging. 
          
Although I do not write directly about the gospel on my garden blog, I have a link to my Mormon.org profile, my faith blog, and some Mormon Messages on the sidebar.  In this way I can offer light from the gospel to many blog visitors each day, even when I’m spending all day doing laundry. 
          
A little over a year ago, I felt the Lord nudging me to do a better job of recording the answers I had received to prayers and other bits of inspiration that have blessed my life, especially in regards to motherhood.  So I started another blog about faith and named it ‘Witness of a Mother.’ 
          
You are probably familiar with this quote from President Spencer W. Kimball:
          
“Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers.  This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world.”[iv]
          
I believe this prophecy may be fulfilled in part as we learn to articulate—to express fluently and coherently—then share our testimonies through social media.  With the wisdom of middle age, I have learned in my heart as well as in my mind that we do not have to be the biggest or best in order to make a worthwhile contribution.  When our purpose in writing is sharing goodness instead of earning money, we enjoy a broader definition of success.  Who can measure the importance of lifting even one soul toward God?  My faith blog is younger and has a smaller audience than my garden blog, but it feels more successful because of the souls it has lifted, including my own.
          
Do you find yourself studying more effectively when you are preparing to speak or teach about a gospel topic?  Preparing to share testimony through social media can have the same effect on our gospel study.  We know that answers can be found as we search, ponder and pray, and I have learned that answers come more quickly and completely when I also record and share those answers in appropriate ways.  This is because sharing our testimony of God and His truth is a way to keep our baptismal covenant as described by Alma, “to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9).  Through covenants the Lord teaches us how heaven works, how His power works, and how we can invite more of that power to work in us and through us to accomplish His work.  Whenever we invite the Lord’s power to flow through us in keeping covenants and doing His work, that power blesses us along the way. 
          
Inspiration comes through Christ’s enabling power, or grace, and it requires a combination of humility and boldness.  This is taught in Ether 12:27, “My grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me” and in Hebrews 4:16, “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace.”  Humility allows us to recognize that these answers won’t be the result of our own intelligence or creativity—though we will study things out, truth will come as we become good at listening to the Spirit.  Boldness is needed to ask the questions, seek the experiences, and record and appropriately share the answers.  Elder Bednar’s book, Increase in Learning[v], has been a great help in increasing my confidence that I can discover inspiration for myself by asking the right questions, digging into the scriptures, and listening.  General Conference is a reliable yardstick to measure personal inspiration.  If I hear thoughts and ideas in General Conference that parallel and echo the inspiration I believe I am receiving, then I know I am on the right track.  There are so many answers we will not receive and experiences we will not have if we are not humble and bold enough to ask. 
          
Thinking back on President Hinckley’s quote from earlier, I like his choice of the word ‘musings.’  It is a much more comfortable word than dissertation or book or even ‘five hundred word essay’.  We all have musings or inspiration when we’re hiking in the mountains, puttering around the garden, rocking a baby or folding laundry.  The repetitive tasks of homemaking are fruitful opportunities to ponder and listen to the Lord.  We also receive bits of inspiration as we sit in conferences that we jot down in little notebooks.  As women we have the “inner sense of spirituality” that President Kimball describes, and our nurturing responsibilities allow us opportunities to develop that spirituality even further.  As we learn to go about other tasks while keeping a part of our mind listening for the waking cry of a baby, we also learn how to live each day while keeping a part of our mind constantly tuned to the Holy Spirit.  As we develop our ability to recognize and respond to the needs of a child—even when those needs are unspoken—we increase our capacity to recognize and respond to the teachings of the Spirit, even when those teachings are not verbalized.  It seemed the years of caring for my babies were turning my brain into mush, but in fact that experience was an intensive training program for how to listen for, recognize and respond to the Holy Ghost.  The great thing is that nowadays we don’t have to write a whole book before sharing the inspiration we receive—we can share a line of insight into scripture or a paragraph about a personal experience with a gospel principle by using social media.
           
When the angel Moroni visited Joseph Smith in 1823, he quoted five verses from the book of Joel and said that those prophecies would soon be fulfilled.  Two of those verses in particular are inspiring to me:
          
And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy . . . and also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. (Joel 2:28-29)
           
We are daughters and handmaids of the Lord.  Have you felt the fulfillment of this prophecy in your life?  Could responding to Elder Bednar’s call to share goodness through social media invite the Spirit to be poured out in greater measure upon you and your family?  Could pondering “What shall I write about today” develop your ability to ask the questions that lead to personal tutoring by the Lord?  What other blessings would come as you answered this challenge?
          
Even though my faith blog is just over a year old, sharing testimony in this way has already brought great blessings for my life and for my family.  About six years ago, I began experiencing a series of health problems that were very painful, confusing, and scary.  After several years of one problem after another after another—with months at a time when I cried on the phone to my dear mother nearly every day—I  found myself feeling weak and shaken in body and in every other way.   “Who am I,” I wondered, “because I am not the confident and capable woman I thought I was.”  After seeing so much of my weakness, I didn’t see how I could ever become strong.  Looking back, I recognize that although I loved the gospel and had been trying to follow Christ, I was built too much upon the arm of the flesh—upon my own strength instead of the Lord’s.  As I sought to come unto Christ, He saw fit to scour me down to the base before beginning to rebuild me solidly on His foundation.  I had experienced the first part of Ether 12:27[vi], where the Lord promises to show us our weaknesses.  Next I needed to experience the second part of the verse and find strength in Christ’s grace.  But even if we know that we should lean on Christ’s grace, it is a challenge to learn how to actually do it.  I did not understand the nuts and bolts of how that worked.  What exactly was I supposed to do? 
           
It’s one thing to follow Christ on the path of life when we feel like we’re moving under our own power, but it’s quite another thing to see Jesus across the sea and climb out of the boat, trusting entirely in His grace to support us step by step in coming to Him.  I wasn’t as brave as Peter; I had to be lovingly but firmly tossed out of the boat through my health problems before I learned to walk by grace.  Have you, like me, ever been thrown out of the boat?  Have you, like me, spent a lot of time sinking and choking and feeling so exhausted that you sometimes wished you could just drown and be done with it all?
          
Peter walked on water, supported by grace, when he focused entirely upon his faith in Jesus Christ.  I have learned that articulating my faith in Jesus by recording and sharing testimony invites strength into my life through His grace.  Psalms 71, verses 12-16 illustrate this connection:
          
O God, be not far from me: O my God, make haste for my help. . . But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.  My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; . . . I will go in the strength of the Lord God: I will make mention of thy righteousness (italics added).
           
As I have ‘made mention’ of my faith in Jesus Christ and my increased understanding of and hope in the mighty change of heart, as I have praised Him more and more for what I’m learning about His love, I have felt Christ’s power buoying me up.  I’m starting to figure out how I really can be strong in His grace, every step of the way.
         
This faith blog has also been a blessing for my family.  Just before Christmas I compiled all the posts into a little book for my children and gave copies as gifts.  A few days after Christmas, I found my daughter up past her bedtime, reading with a flashlight under her covers.  I couldn’t be upset with her when I saw she was reading my little book of testimony.  “Mom,” she said, “I am so excited to be a mother!  It’s really hard, and we have to sacrifice a lot, and the world doesn’t understand, but we teach our children how to love, and that’s the foundation for the entire gospel, so it’s really important!”  I felt the deep significance of that moment, for my nine-year old daughter had internalized a vision of mothering that I didn’t gain until after my four babies were born, after a miscarriage, after many complications from childbearing, and after suffering through it all from painful questions about why mothering requires so much sacrifice.  My little book was a handmade shield of faith that would protect her in ways she might otherwise be vulnerable to Satan’s attack.  Perhaps the best part is that she has seen that when she has questions of her own, she can take them straight to the Lord in prayer and find answers through the scriptures and the Holy Ghost.  No matter how many other people read or don’t read what I have written, that moment made my faith blog a complete success.  And yet I don’t know if I would have had the motivation to get to that point if not for the encouraging words of friends along the way as I posted little by little to my blog.  It is beautiful to me how the Lord can stretch our efforts to share the gospel with others and send them back around to bless our own families.  How could your family be blessed by sharing your testimony through social media?
           
Blogging is an appropriate way to share longer messages, but shorter thoughts and musings can often be shared effectively over Facebook.  For example, I have stumbled into the role of a family historian and have found that it’s really effective to share an old photo and short story about an ancestor on Facebook, tag all the cousins and other interested family members so they are sure to see it, and at the same time inspire Facebook friends to get into their family history by showing them how fun it is.  If we have a photo and a story, then an ancestor becomes real to us.  Those of us who are pulled to read long life stories and dig deep into family history can involve our family members who don’t have the time or inclination by sharing snippets of the information that we find.  Blogging, email and Facebook are all useful in this effort.
           
When Elder Bednar extended the challenge to share righteousness and truth, he warned about the negative effects of letting technology take over our lives.  He encouraged us to produce steady streams of goodness instead of a one-time flash flood.  I have watched other bloggers who have let themselves be sucked too far into the blogging world for a time and have eventually become burned out and quit.  We can avoid that by setting reasonable goals and limits for our internet projects, depending on our season of life and other responsibilities.  I am mother to four really good but really intense young children.  Mothering them is not like herding cats; it’s like herding rocket ships, and I am not a naturally patient person.  I have to conserve my best energy for mothering if I am to have a hope of being the calm and kind mother I need to be to keep the Spirit in our home.  So I keep social media in its place with goals and limits.  I don’t have Facebook set up on my phone, and I gave up on Pinterest pretty quickly for lack of time.  I have even learned that I shouldn’t log into Family Search in the afternoon or my husband will come home to a trashed house, fighting kids and no trace of dinner while I’m glued to the screen.  We shouldn’t neglect the living too much in our excitement over serving the dead, and we must be alert and cautious to avoid missing out on ways to share goodness in real life by becoming too involved in sharing goodness over the internet.
           
When we consider ways to share goodness and truth, we may worry that our contributions will not be mighty and strong but ‘mitey’ like the widow’s mites in Mark 12.  She didn’t have a lot to contribute, but Jesus magnified her offering when He pointed it out to teach a lesson on generosity.  Who could count how many have been blessed because of the way the Lord magnified her example?  I have experienced how the Lord can magnify small and simple offerings of goodness.  He will do that for us all if we invite Him to do so by laying our gifts on the altar.
           
I will close by sharing an experience I had when preparing to teach a Primary class that consisted entirely of ten and eleven year old girls.  I knew these girls would not long remember the individual lessons I taught them, but I felt they might remember an overall theme if I wove it into each lesson.  As I prayed to know what this overarching message should be, I began to see in my mind again and again a picture of myself standing next to my Savior with His arm wrapped around my shoulders.  Although I could not see His features, I knew that He had a big, delighted smile on His face as He looked at me.   I could feel that He was delighted with the good things that I do and that I am, and I knew He felt the same way toward the girls in my class.  He feels the same way about you.  This was the lesson I most needed to teach my class, and it’s a lesson most of us need to be reminded of regularly.  Sisters, have you taken time lately to feel how delighted the Lord is in you?  Have you imagined Him smiling over the good things that you are and that you do, even on days when the not so good parts of yourself have been on display?  Our Savior knows that those not so good parts are going to go away eventually if we keep following Him, so He delights already in the good that will remain and grow.
          
I would guess that everyone here is already sharing goodness in their lives, probably in many ways every day.  Our Savior is already delighted in the good things that we do and that we are.  I hope you won’t leave this session feeling overwhelmed with something else to squeeze into your busy lives.  But if you feel Jesus Christ inviting you to collaborate with Him to share even more goodness, take that step.  He will magnify your offering in beautiful ways.  Working together with Him to share more goodness will bring greater delight to Him and more strength and joy into your life.

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[i] David A. Bednar, “To Sweep the Earth as with a Flood,” address given at BYU Education Week, August, 19, 2014; available at https://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/to-sweep-the-earth-as-with-a-flood?lang=eng; accessed 5 May, 2015.
[ii] Gordon B. Hinckley, One Bright, Shining Hope, (Salt Lake City:  Shadow Mountain, 2006).

[iii] Dennis Rasmussen, “Three Gardens,” Ensign, Apr. 1972, available at https://www.lds.org/new-era/1972/04/three-gardens?lang=eng; accessed 5 May, 2015.

[iv] Spencer W. Kimball, “The Role of Righteous Women,” Ensign, Nov. 1979, 103-4.
[v] David A. Bednar, Increase in Learning, (Salt Lake City:  Deseret Book, 2011).
[vi] Ether 12:27 - And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

The Errand of Angels

During my sophomore year at Brigham Young University, I signed up for a mentoring program through the local school district. I was assigned to meet each Monday with a fifth-grade boy named Israel Mendoza.  Although I did not at that time have a great love for kids in general, I quickly bonded with this little boy with big brown eyes and a sweet smile.  In addition to working on his math homework, we talked about his life.  Israel told me his family did not have a lot of money, and he was sometimes teased by his classmates because he wore the same sweatshirt to school most days.  I did the best I could to encourage him in his schoolwork and his life.  We were great pals.

         
At my first visit with Israel after Christmas, I learned that his teacher had organized a Sub For Santa type of project for Israel’s family.  Israel was very excited about his new basketball and that he no longer had to wear the same sweatshirt to school every day.  I was delighted to see the big smile on Israel’s face as he talked about the gifts of love that had been given to his family. 
         
After Israel told me about his Christmas, he asked me some deep questions.  He was concerned about whether death was scary and whether God was real.  Since we were in a public school setting, I did not know at first what would be appropriate for me to say.  I finally had the thought to ask him if his family went to church, and Israel said his family was Catholic.  I asked if they believed in Jesus, and he confirmed that they did.  Then I told Israel that death is not scary because we get to be with Jesus up in heaven, and He loves us so much that it will be wonderful to be with Him.  We felt the warmth of Jesus’ love for us as we talked about these questions for about half an hour, and then it was time for me to leave.
         
As I walked back to campus, I realized my visits with Israel were the highlight of my week, so I decided to tell him the next time we met together. Israel was proud of the fact that he was the first kid I had ever mentored, and I could not help but love my angelic boy.  Each time I walked back to campus from his school, I found myself thinking of ways I could keep mentoring him after that year so I could encourage him to continue working hard at school.  I hoped he would go to college and build a happy life for himself.  I had big dreams for my little friend.
         
On the next Monday, I walked to the school as usual and signed in at the office.  I had arrived a little early, so I leaned into the classroom to tell Israel’s teacher that I would wait in the hall until he came in from recess.  She looked at me with a strange expression on her face, and then she said Israel had been killed in a car wreck the past weekend.  I was shocked and heartbroken.  I cried all the way back to campus and often during the next week.
         
At the time, I could only see how sad it was for Israel to die so young.  I still cry when I think about him, especially when I think of how much his mother must miss him.  But as I look back on the experience, I realize the Lord knew Israel was coming to the end of his time in this life.  God did not want this sweet boy to be sad or scared, so He inspired Israel’s teacher to make his last Christmas a wonderful time for his family, and He inspired me with the right words to help Israel feel peace about death instead of fear.   Then He called His boy home.  It was all part of His plan.
         
Jesus taught, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).  I feel the time I spent with Israel was a little taste of heaven, and I know that Israel really is happy with Jesus now.  A favorite hymn states, “The errand of angels is given to women; and this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim” (As Sisters in Zion, LDS Hymnbook, 309).  I believe the Lord sends angels from both sides of the veil to help children.  How grateful I am that the Lord chose to place a young and inexperienced college sophomore into that boy’s life, and that He gave me wisdom beyond my own to act as an angel in preparing Israel for the next step in his journey.

Eve Was a 'Get It Done' Girl

I suppose most women of faith have wondered about what really happened in the Garden of Eden. What were Eve’s thoughts when she reached for the forbidden fruit? Was there a better way to go forward with God’s plan than what happened there? Was the mother of all living really as foolish as the world portrays her, or was she just as valiant as any of the other heroes in scripture?
         
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints understand the Fall differently than other Christians. Instead of a tragic mistake, we believe the Fall was a necessary part of God’s plan for His children, because the purpose of the plan is to grow and no one does much of that in paradise. While in the garden, Adam and Eve were not yet mortal and were therefore unable to fulfill God’s commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). As part of the Fall, changes occurred to their bodies that allowed them to have children and to experience trials that would help them grow (Russell M. Nelson, The Atonement, Oct 1996 General Conference). 
         
God commanded Adam not to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil because “in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die” (Genesis 2:17), but He gave man his agency to choose for himself. As long as Adam and Eve lingered in the garden, God’s plan for the growth of His children paused, and the rest of us watched and waited for them to step into mortality so we could have our chance to do so as well. When Eve received her “first lessons in the world of spirits” (D&C 138:56), she learned about God’s plan and was valiant enough to be chosen as the “mother of all living” (Genesis 3:20). Though her memory of those experiences was veiled when she came to Eden, I wonder if she still felt a sense of some greater purpose for herself and Adam. As Eve wandered the garden and delighted in its beauties, did she yearn to do and be more than she was in that place and state? 
         
Like faithful women today, Eve must have been blessed with extra sensitivity to the Holy Spirit who confirms truth, and she would have been prepared to make sacrifices in support of God’s plan. I find it difficult to believe that this chosen woman acted out of selfishness when she ate the forbidden fruit. Instead I believe her receptiveness to truth and willingness to sacrifice would have been the deciding factors in her confrontation with Satan, the serpent. He did what he so often does today and mixed truth (“your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil” Genesis 3:5) with lie (“Ye shall not surely die” Genesis 3:4). Eve recognized the truth that she was meant to have her eyes opened and grow in wisdom, and was willing to act in faith to fulfill that purpose even if death was part of the deal. Satan’s attempt to thwart God’s plan backfired when Eve’s actions moved the plan forward instead. In this confrontation between “the father of all lies” (Moses 4:4) and the mother of all living, Satan came away looking foolish. Since that time he has worked to influence perception to make Eve seem the fool instead, and he has in large measure succeeded.
         
One problem with Eve’s actions in the Garden of Eden was that she did not counsel with her husband and with God before taking action. My husband and I have learned that difficulties arise when we make big decisions without first counseling together and with the Lord. Perhaps Eve and Adam had already had that conversation many times and Adam was unwilling to move, even if it was a move forward. Still I wonder what would be different if the two of them had decided together to forge ahead – despite the certainty of death as part of the process – and had presented their plan to God before taking that step.
         
After the Fall, Adam was commanded to worship by sacrificing the firstlings of their flocks to the Lord (Moses 5:5). He later learned that these offerings were symbolic of the sacrifice that our Savior, the lamb of God, would make during the Atonement (Moses 5:6-7). Eve herself became a symbol of the Atonement, for she chose to suffer, bleed and eventually die in order to give life to others of God’s children. The physical pain of bearing children was not the only sorrow she experienced (Genesis 3:16). What did she feel when she learned that one of her beloved children had been murdered by another of her beloved children? Experiencing either situation – a murdered child or a child who murdered – would have been crushing, but experiencing both together must have been devastating to their mother. Truly her sorrows were multiplied, and yet Eve foreshadowed Jesus’ life here as well. She saw through the excruciating sorrow to the joy ahead and ran with patience the race that was set before her (Hebrews 12:1-2). When Adam prophesied “concerning all the families of the earth” (Moses 5:10), did he mention their many-great-granddaughter Mary greeting the risen Lord immediately after He had overcome all the effects of their Fall through the Atonement? Eve heard these prophesies concerning their children, their granddaughters and grandsons, and “was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient” (Moses 5:11).
         
When I consider the events of the Garden in light of the characteristics of faithful women – and surely the one chosen as mother of all living was especially faithful – I am able to see past the distortions of the father of all lies to recognize Eve’s magnificence. She was committed to God’s plan and was willing to accept the heavy costs to fulfill her part in it. Perhaps there was a better way to carry out the move toward mortality, but the fact that she had wisdom yet to gain is a testimony of the importance of God’s plan for His children. If we already knew and had already experienced everything we needed in order to be wise, mortality would not be necessary. But we do need this chance to grow, and Eve’s courage and sacrifice made it possible for us to have it. She was a ‘Get It Done Girl’, a true hero, and I want to be more like her. Thank heaven for this brave and generous mother to us all.

Where Are Women in Scripture?

At times I have wondered if women’s roles and responsibilities – and women themselves – are less important to God since they are mentioned relatively infrequently in scripture. But I know that can’t be true because I feel the Lord’s love and esteem for me and for all His daughters. Still I wonder if the gospel could not be taught just as well through the perspectives and experiences of women along with those of men. When I pray and ask Father in Heaven to help me understand why the scriptures are the way they are, He first reminds me that He is perfectly just. There is no injustice in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, so when something in God’s plan seems unfair to me it is because of my limited perspective. Then the Lord reminds me that He does not rate importance the same way the world does. He tells us, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9). The world equates worldly prominence and recognition with importance, but that is not the Lord’s way. Every knee did not bow to the Son of God during His mortal life – that comes later (Isaiah 45:23). So women who follow His way should not be surprised if we do not receive full recognition for our work here in mortality, important though it may be.
         
Another lesson comes from remembering the purpose of scripture: “But these are written, that you might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name” (John 20:31, 1 Nephi 19:18, preface to Book of Mormon). The Lord makes it very clear that all people are invited to receive this gift of life through Christ: “He inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female” (2 Nephi 26:33). Though many righteous people and their significant responsibilities are recorded in scripture, the ultimate purpose of scripture is not to honor them over those who are not mentioned; it is to persuade us all to believe in and be saved through Christ. Our ultimate goal is not to have a place in scripture; it is to receive eternal life, which is the greatest of God’s gifts (D&C 66:12, Romans 6:23), the ultimate happiness (Moses 5:11) and the goal of the plan of salvation (Moses 1:39). The Spirit confirms that the relatively few references to women in scripture do not mean that women are less righteous or less important than men in accomplishing God’s work.
          
The Lord also reminds me that He has given women the gift of being especially sensitive to nuance and to the Spirit. As mothers learn to keep one part of their mind listening for the waking cry of a sleeping baby, they also cultivate their ability to always have one part of their mind listening for the guidance of the Holy Ghost. As mothers develop their capacity to be sensitive and responsive to the needs of their children – even when those needs are not expressed verbally – they also nurture their gift of being sensitive and responsive to the promptings of the Spirit – even when that inspiration is not expressed in words. These gifts help us understand truths even when they are not spelled out plainly or repeatedly, and they more than compensate for the extra work we have to do to apply male perspectives and experiences in scripture to our own lives.
         
As I study the scriptures for subtle confirmations of God’s appreciation and honor for women and their responsibilities, I find plenty of evidence. The Lord established the importance of righteous wives and mothers in the life of the prophet Abraham, who sent a trusted servant far away to find a faithful woman to be the wife of the chosen son, Isaac. When this servant prayed for a sign to identify the right woman, the Lord acknowledged the importance of his task by guiding Rebekah to fulfill the sign (Genesis 24). Through Isaac and Rebekah the covenant promises of the Lord to Abraham were and continue to be fulfilled. It feels very significant to me that Jesus’ mother was given a place in Nephi’s vision about the love of God (1 Nephi 11). She stood as a first witness of God’s love, just as mothers have throughout history and continue to do today. Though we do not find much information about their mothers, we see that the miracles that blessed the 2,000 stripling warriors occurred because of the foundation of faith and obedience laid by these faithful women (Alma 56:47-48, Alma 57:21).
         
Many confirmations of God’s respect for womanhood and much guidance on how to fulfill our roles come from the example of Jesus during His mortal ministry. The book of John has been described as God’s love letter to His children, and I feel this especially applies to His daughters. John records that the “beginning of miracles” occurred in response to a request from Jesus’ mother, Mary. It is helpful to note the clarification from Joseph Smith about Jesus’ response to her request, “Woman, what wilt thou have me do for thee? that will I do; for mine hour is not yet come” (John 2:4, Joseph Smith Translation). Surely the One who gave the commandment to honor both father and mother (Exodus 20:12) would speak to His own mother with great respect. Can you imagine how noble and revered the word ‘woman’ must sound when He speaks it? Mary Magdalene was honored to stand as the first mortal witness of Christ's resurrection at the completion of the Atonement, the most significant event to occur in all of history (John 20:11-18). John’s teachings on the importance of charity, or Godly love, gain greater meaning for women when we remember that the prophet Mormon used a female pronoun to describe charity (Moroni 7:45), and the motto of the church’s organization for women is ‘Charity Never Faileth.’ When we enlist the guidance of the Holy Ghost and search the scriptures for the Lord’s perspective on women, He will guide us to truths we have not noticed before. While the scriptural references to women may seem small and simple (Alma 37:6), the Lord through His Spirit is prepared to make up for the lack of detail and truly bring about great things in the hearts and lives of His beloved daughters. 

Stand As Witnesses of God's Love

Each Sunday young women across the church recite the promise that they will “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Young Women Theme, Mosiah 18:9). These beloved daughters of God are preparing to fulfill the important missions He has assigned to them. As I ponder the importance of sacrifice in divine love, I realize that the Lord has entrusted each mother with the responsibility to stand as the first witness of His love to her children. Even before our babies are born, we witness of the Savior’s selfless love when we endure morning sickness, overwhelming fatigue and the painfully stretched body that is required to create a physical body for them. We testify that our Savior loved us enough to suffer for us while we labor to give our children birth. We teach of God’s constant loving care while nursing babies in the middle of the night, even as we weep in the darkness from exhaustion. A mother’s tenderness prepares her children to recognize the tender mercies (Psalms 145:9, 1 Nephi 1:20) of the Lord throughout their lives. In His perfect plan, our Heavenly Father ordained that children would experience His love from the very beginning of mortality through their mother. The testimony of mothers stands even stronger when fathers engage in the parenting to stand as additional witnesses of God’s love.
         
The prophet Nephi was given a vision about the love of God (1 Nephi 11) when he approached the Lord with his questions about a similar vision given to his father. Nephi saw a beautiful tree, and when he asked for the interpretation, he was first shown the mother of Jesus. Then he saw scenes from Jesus’ ministry, including His death. In this vision Mary stood as a first witness of God’s love, and all mothers have the opportunity to follow her example and testify through our lives of the selfless love of our Savior. Women who do not have the opportunity to become mothers in this life also find ways to stand as witnesses of God’s love and thereby find great purpose and fulfillment. My unmarried sister is a good example to me of this. She nurtures relationships with her nieces and nephews despite the great cost in time and money. She reaches out in love to family members who no longer come to church. If they ever decide to come back, their way will be easier because she has witnessed to them of God’s unfailing love for them. Like my sister, women do not need to wait for marriage and motherhood to begin standing as witnesses of God’s love in ways that bring significant blessings to God’s children.
         
The worldly voices around us do not encourage women in making sacrifices to stand as witnesses of God’s love. The idea that men’s roles and responsibilities are more important and Godly than women’s roles and responsibilities is confusing to many. Even for good women, it is easy to be swayed by the idea that having children and caring for them is nothing but drudgery, and the important accomplishments in life are found elsewhere. I remember a time during college when I realized how greatly I had been blessed with opportunities to learn. My parents and countless teachers, coaches and other leaders had invested much in my growth. I pondered about why the Lord had granted me so many opportunities to be educated and develop talents. I thought He surely must have some great mission for me to accomplish later in life, but I could not imagine what it might be. Several years later I learned the answer. As I sat on my bed rocking my first newborn baby, the Lord brought that question back to my mind. The warmth of the Spirit wrapped around me and confirmed that this was why the Lord had invested so much in me. I could not perceive it as a college student, but mothering my children was the significant mission that required so much preparation.
         
How important is the responsibility to teach of God’s love? When Jesus was asked to state the greatest commandment, He responded, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40). Paul taught, "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love" (Galatians 5:14, also 1 Timothy 1:5). As I ponder these verses, the Lord helps me see how His gospel really does ‘hang on’ or have its basis in love. All of the commandments have charity, or Godly love, as their underpinning – love of God, His love for us, and the charity we feel for our neighbors. The second commandment is interpreted to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, but Jesus taught a higher way to love others. “A new commandment I give unto you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34). We are to love and serve others as Jesus loved and served, and when we are filled with charity, living His gospel of loving service feels natural.
         
I remember hearing a counselor talk about the emotional damage people experience when they do not experience love from and develop a strong attachment to a caretaker early in life. I realized that while caring for my little children, I was fulfilling more than just their physical needs. I was also nurturing their capacity to love throughout their lives. The ability to love does not develop in a vacuum. We develop the capacity to love – and live the gospel – by experiencing God’s love, and we do that first through the love of our mothers. How grateful we are for the hope of healing through the Atonement for those who do not receive love early in life. Women have divine gifts that make them especially capable of sharing Christ’s nurturing and healing power with those who have missed out on love in their lives. As mothers we can spare our children much hardship by fulfilling their need to be encircled in the arms of their mother’s love – and thereby in God’s love (2 Nephi 1:15) – from the beginning of life.  
          
Jesus set the perfect example of how to teach of Godly love, or charity. He set aside His great capacities and important responsibilities as “the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning” (Helaman 14:12) to come down to earth, live as a mortal, and serve. Throughout His ministry, Jesus made time to minister to individuals, not just large audiences. Mothers follow this pattern when we set aside other talents and opportunities for recognition to care for each of our children. At the last supper, Jesus humbly washed the dirty, smelly feet of the apostles. Does this not parallel the service of mothers who spend their days changing smelly diapers and cleaning up the other messes their little ones make? Is there a more pure way to love “not . . . in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and truth?" (1 John 3:18) Even though Jesus was the Son of God, every knee did not bow to Him during His mortal life – that will come later (Romans 14:11, Mosiah 27:31). So we who follow His way should not be surprised that we do not receive full recognition for our work in this life, important though it is. God always sees and blesses those who serve Him, but often those blessings are not fully manifest until the next life.
         
In the plan of salvation, women were not assigned the labors of mothering because we were not capable of anything greater. Rather, the Lord expressed great trust in women when He assigned us the crucial responsibility to stand as the first witnesses of His love to our children and thereby introduce them to the Godly love which supports the entire gospel. With this perspective in mind, we understand that every sacrifice that is required of us as women and mothers can prepare us to love as our Savior loves.    

Why So Much Sacrifice?

I had much time to ponder my questions for the Lord while I spent painful months recovering from a surgery that was needed to correct complications from my pregnancies. One day during this time, my wonderful husband was helping our daughter learn how to ride her bike when she twisted the handles sharply and caused them to fall together. He injured his toe and it was sore for several weeks. At one point he expressed frustration that he could not complete the needed training for an upcoming triathlon because his toe was too sore to run. For months I had been barely able to sit up straight because of surgery and other painful complications. I did not feel very impressed with his sacrifice. I wondered again as I had before why so many of the sacrifices of parenting fall heavily on mothers.
         
Women are strong, but much of our strength goes toward the capacity to bear children instead of building stronger muscles. The resulting disparity in physical strength between women and men has made women vulnerable to oppression and abuse. When women choose to stay at home with their children instead of pursuing a career, they become financially vulnerable. Even women who never have children in this life experience many of the burdens that go along with a body capable of bearing children. Why must this be? Could there not be another way to accomplish God’s plan for us? Is it offensive to the Lord for me to ask Him those questions?
         
Pondering these things leads me to the words Jesus spoke as He suffered in Gethsemane. “And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt” (Mark 14:35-36). Even Jesus asked if there might be another way to accomplish God’s plan that did not require His great sacrifice, but there was not. My suffering may have exceeded my husband’s sore toe, but Jesus’ suffering far eclipsed anything I have experienced. What did He know and understand that made Him willing to sacrifice so much? What must I know and understand to enable me to sacrifice willingly as Jesus did?
         
John wrote of the answer: “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso . . . seeth his brother hath need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” (1 John 3:16-17) Love is the reason Jesus suffered willingly – love for His Heavenly Father and love for us. And you and I cannot understand His love without knowing sacrifice.
         
A favorite hymn teaches that “sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven" (Praise to the Man, LDS Hymnbook, p. 27). Jesus suffered the Atonement to bring about great blessings for all of God’s children. The Lord swells my heart with the truth that I follow my Savior’s example through my mothering sacrifices and thereby bring about great blessings for my children and for me. He reassures me that He does not mind my questions when I come ready to listen to the answers. In fact, I feel that He welcomes these conversations and the chance to teach me through the Spirit.    

Ask and It Shall Be Given You

One of the oft-repeated promises in scripture is “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (Matthew 7:7, KJV, 3 Nephi 27:28-29). Speaking of our day, the Lord promised, “and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit" (Joel 2:29). Every time I read those words, I feel the Lord inviting me to seek the fulfillment of those blessings in my life. Over the years I have had many questions about my roles of woman, wife, mother and daughter of God, so I have accepted the Lord’s offer to teach me by the Spirit as I ask, seek and knock. I pray repeatedly that I will discern my place in His plan – my worth, roles and responsibilities – more as He views them and less as the world views them.  
         
The woman at the well (John 4:5-30, 39-42) is an inspiring example of Jesus responding to a woman’s questions, encouraging her growing faith, and revealing Himself to her. Jesus’ disciples and the woman herself were surprised that He would speak with her. Sometimes even faithful women today do not expect the Lord to actually communicate with them, but Jesus demonstrated that He is ready and willing to teach us. The woman at the well expressed her witness to her neighbors and brought many of them to Jesus so they could gain their own testimonies. We can follow her example of asking the Lord our questions and sharing our witness of His answers to help others come to Him.
         
The scriptures teach how we can approach the Lord with confidence that we will receive the answers we seek. John wrote, “if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God" (1 John 3:21). When we are full of charity (Christlike love) and virtue (moral cleanliness), the Lord promises “then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine . . . shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven” (D&C 121:45). Selfish attitudes or degrading thoughts create a barrier between us and the Lord and block the answers He would like to give to us. As I have sought understanding from God, I have learned that answers come as I quickly turn away from thoughts or actions that are offensive to Him and instead find ways to serve others – especially my family – with love.
         
One answer came to me through the Spirit when I was assigned to teach a Primary class consisting entirely of 10- and 11-year old girls. I knew they wouldn’t long remember many details from individual lessons, but I felt they might remember a consistent theme if I made it part of all the lessons. I prayed to know what this overarching message should be. As I pondered about different ideas over many days, I began to see a mental picture. I saw myself standing next to my Savior with His arm around me. Though I could not see Jesus’ face clearly, as I looked up at Him I knew He had a big smile on His face. I could feel that He was delighted in the good things that I am and that I do. I knew that He also felt this way toward the girls in my class, and this was the message I most needed to teach them.
         
Many of the answers we seek in life cannot be had from Facebook posts or discussion groups or even from statements of church doctrine by themselves. We each need personal revelation from the Lord to help us understand the mission He has for us. We need Him to teach us through the Spirit how to view and respond to our individual challenges. We need His power to transfer the doctrine of His gospel from stone, ink or screen onto the “fleshy tables of the heart" (2 Corinthians 3:3). As we develop our ability to learn through the Spirit, we are guided by the assurance that all truth harmonizes together because it all comes from God. I find that General Conference acts as a check for the inspiration I receive. As I hear ideas in conference that parallel and echo the inspiration I am receiving, then I know I am on track.    
         
As beloved daughters of God, we can approach Him with the confidence born of charity and virtue to ask Him our pressing questions. Though answers generally come slowly, “line upon line, precept upon precept; here a little, and there a little" (D&C 128:21, Isaiah 28:10), we wait with the assurance that the Lord “giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not" (James 1:5). Ask, seek, knock.

All references to the Bible are from the King James Version. References may be read in full by going to lds.org and typing the reference into the search box.