Some time ago I experienced several years of health problems that were painful, confusing and scary. Before these trials I felt confident in my ability to valiantly live the gospel of Jesus Christ, but as they progressed I began to feel like I was drowning. As years went by, my thoughts turned repeatedly to the story of Peter walking through the predawn darkness on the sea of Galilee to reach Jesus (Matthew 14:22-33). During my youth I could not understand why Peter ever looked away when it was so simple to see that keeping his focus on Jesus would keep him from sinking. As an adult I realized that maintaining my focus on Jesus would protect me from sinking in my trials, but that simple goal was not easy to achieve when waves of pain and winds of fear were constantly threatening to swamp me. I spent a lot of time choking with my head barely above water, and I often wished I could get back into the boat where it was safe and comfortable. But gradually I began to recognize the important lessons the Lord was teaching me.
The Lord's words illuminated my experience: "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27). I realized that the Lord was blessing my efforts to come to Him by exposing my physical, mental and spiritual weaknesses. If I humbled myself and continued to exercise faith in Him, eventually He would make me strong. My prayers changed from desperate pleas to rescue me immediately to humble requests for just enough grace to endure the day well. The pain and uncertainties remained, but with a sense of wonder I recognized the Lord's hand reaching into my heart and gently lifting me above the tempest.
We are not capable of walking on water nor coming to Christ without the buoyant strength of our Savior. In Ether 12:28 the Lord explains how we - like Peter - will finally reach Him. He says, "I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me." These characteristics of Christ are the stepping stones that bring us to Him, but only those with humility can reach them through the illuminating and uplifting power of the Atonement.
Just as dawn brought light to the breathless and dripping Peter, the darkness in my life eventually lifted as many health challenges abated. I can still see my weaknesses, but like Peter I have experienced the Savior's buoyant strength. He continues to show me how faith, hope and charity work a mighty change in my heart to bring me to Him. This quiet miracle seems no less wondrous to me than learning how to walk on water.
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