I had much time to ponder my questions for the Lord while I spent painful months recovering from a surgery that was needed to correct complications from my pregnancies. One day during this time, my wonderful husband was helping our daughter learn how to ride her bike when she twisted the handles sharply and caused them to fall together. He injured his toe and it was sore for several weeks. At one point he expressed frustration that he could not complete the needed training for an upcoming triathlon because his toe was too sore to run. For months I had been barely able to sit up straight because of surgery and other painful complications. I did not feel very impressed with his sacrifice. I wondered again as I had before why so many of the sacrifices of parenting fall heavily on mothers.
Women are strong, but much of our strength goes toward the capacity to bear children instead of building stronger muscles. The resulting disparity in physical strength between women and men has made women vulnerable to oppression and abuse. When women choose to stay at home with their children instead of pursuing a career, they become financially vulnerable. Even women who never have children in this life experience many of the burdens that go along with a body capable of bearing children. Why must this be? Could there not be another way to accomplish God’s plan for us? Is it offensive to the Lord for me to ask Him those questions?
Pondering these things leads me to the words Jesus spoke as He suffered in Gethsemane. “And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt” (Mark 14:35-36). Even Jesus asked if there might be another way to accomplish God’s plan that did not require His great sacrifice, but there was not. My suffering may have exceeded my husband’s sore toe, but Jesus’ suffering far eclipsed anything I have experienced. What did He know and understand that made Him willing to sacrifice so much? What must I know and understand to enable me to sacrifice willingly as Jesus did?
John wrote of the answer: “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso . . . seeth his brother hath need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” (1 John 3:16-17) Love is the reason Jesus suffered willingly – love for His Heavenly Father and love for us. And you and I cannot understand His love without knowing sacrifice.
A favorite hymn teaches that “sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven" (Praise to the Man, LDS Hymnbook, p. 27). Jesus suffered the Atonement to bring about great blessings for all of God’s children. The Lord swells my heart with the truth that I follow my Savior’s example through my mothering sacrifices and thereby bring about great blessings for my children and for me. He reassures me that He does not mind my questions when I come ready to listen to the answers. In fact, I feel that He welcomes these conversations and the chance to teach me through the Spirit.
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